officialunitedstates:

[A cold October afternoon.  4:00 PM.  Mrs. Watson’s office hours.  A small room with four desks, shared with three other professors.  A brick wall interior with carpeted floors]
[Gerald knocks on the half-opened wooden door]
Gerald:  Hi.  Mrs. Watson?  Um, I was hoping we could talk about my latest essay grade. 
Watson:  Sure, have a seat.
[Watson grabs chair and pushes it close to Gerald.  Gerald fumbles in his backpack for the paper]
Gerald:  Okay, so, I got a 99% on it and I was wondering what I missed because all you left for comments on it was “Perfect”
Watson:  That’s right.  I remember your paper.  It was very good.
Gerald:  Thank you.  So, I was just wondering what I did wrong on it.
Watson:  You didn’t do anything wrong.  It was a very good paper.
Gerald:  Then why didn’t I get a 100 on it?
Watson:  I don’t give 100’s. 
Gerald:  But you said it was perfect.  Doesn’t a 100 mean perfect.
[Watson quickly glances towards the brick wall to her left]
Watson:  I don’t give 100s.  In my class, a 99 is perfect.
Gerald:  Why is that?  Why isn’t a 100 a perfect score.
Watson:  Because I don’t give perfects.
Gerald:  But you just said a 99 is perfect.
Watson:  Yes, a 99 is perfect for my class.
Gerald:  I guess I’m not understanding why you don’t call a 100 a perfect score.
Watson:  I do not like to give 100s in my class. 
Gerald:  Okay thank you for your time
Watson:  Keep up the perfect work and you will continue to get 99s in my class
Gerald:  Okay Mrs. Watson.  Thank you.
[A fly buzzes in through the door as Gerald exits the room]
Watson:  You let a fly in.
Gerald:  I don’t think that was my fault.
Watson:  Don’t open doors and it won’t happen in the first place.
Gerald:  Okay, thank you for talking to me about my grade.
End Act I

officialunitedstates:

[A cold October afternoon.  4:00 PM.  Mrs. Watson’s office hours.  A small room with four desks, shared with three other professors.  A brick wall interior with carpeted floors]

[Gerald knocks on the half-opened wooden door]

Gerald:  Hi.  Mrs. Watson?  Um, I was hoping we could talk about my latest essay grade. 

Watson:  Sure, have a seat.

[Watson grabs chair and pushes it close to Gerald.  Gerald fumbles in his backpack for the paper]

Gerald:  Okay, so, I got a 99% on it and I was wondering what I missed because all you left for comments on it was “Perfect”

Watson:  That’s right.  I remember your paper.  It was very good.

Gerald:  Thank you.  So, I was just wondering what I did wrong on it.

Watson:  You didn’t do anything wrong.  It was a very good paper.

Gerald:  Then why didn’t I get a 100 on it?

Watson:  I don’t give 100’s. 

Gerald:  But you said it was perfect.  Doesn’t a 100 mean perfect.

[Watson quickly glances towards the brick wall to her left]

Watson:  I don’t give 100s.  In my class, a 99 is perfect.

Gerald:  Why is that?  Why isn’t a 100 a perfect score.

Watson:  Because I don’t give perfects.

Gerald:  But you just said a 99 is perfect.

Watson:  Yes, a 99 is perfect for my class.

Gerald:  I guess I’m not understanding why you don’t call a 100 a perfect score.

Watson:  I do not like to give 100s in my class. 

Gerald:  Okay thank you for your time

Watson:  Keep up the perfect work and you will continue to get 99s in my class

Gerald:  Okay Mrs. Watson.  Thank you.

[A fly buzzes in through the door as Gerald exits the room]

Watson:  You let a fly in.

Gerald:  I don’t think that was my fault.

Watson:  Don’t open doors and it won’t happen in the first place.

Gerald:  Okay, thank you for talking to me about my grade.

End Act I

habibichic:

guy fieri looks like a stereotypical american character in an obscure japanese arcade fighting game.

(via dirtydeedsdonedirtcheep)

freshcleanfit:

In other news, this is one of my favorite Twitter happenings to date. 

freshcleanfit:

In other news, this is one of my favorite Twitter happenings to date. 

(via dirtydeedsdonedirtcheep)

joyousdreamer:

that-of-a-rose:

//whispers
yaoi hands

They’re real

joyousdreamer:

that-of-a-rose:

//whispers

yaoi hands

They’re real

(via woooooooooobat)

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Tumblr and Puns

(via woooooooooobat)

40ozhoe:

cheefkief:

40ozhoe:

me cause football right around the corner 

Wow. Tumblr is supposed to be a sanctuary, a safe haven, even, for alternative lifestyles. Not for high school jocks interested in the most common thing ever. Seriously, football is exactly the kind of thing someone joins tumblr to escape from. Stop watching football and go join a fandom, or delete your account.

Signed, a proud football-hating SuperWhoLockianStuckSwimmingOnTitanPotter fan.

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

we takin’ over 

(via woooooooooobat)

daftbread:

enemy of the dogspotting community

(via brutalmoose)

okamisunrise:

please make the steel ball run anime happen before i die ok thanks #jjba

okamisunrise:

please make the steel ball run anime happen before i die ok thanks #jjba

(via swoooooooooobat)